I don’t know how I met Emotion. I can’t say there was a day or moment where she introduced herself to me. It was like she slowly acquainted herself with me without me fully realizing it. But what I can remember from how we grew to know each other is that she seem to reveal new layers of herself to me at the most inconspicuous times.
There was that time I was heading to a birthday party, present in hand and card tucked away. She came up behind me with a tuba of all instruments and a whole marching band trailing behind. She lead the ensemble while tooting the tuba and in between toots, gave a yell and cheer and a shout. “Its a birthday, its a birthday, its someone’s birthday, how much fun it is to celebrate!” She yelled. She came right up next to me and danced around me, or what you could have called a dance from someone still carrying a tuba. I couldn’t help but laugh from the outrageousness of the whole ordeal and started marching along with the band, Emotion front and center. I started to feel excited and celebratory, dancing along the way with the band, beginning to shout, “its a birthday, how much fun it is celebrate!” Boy, were my friends surprised when they met me at the party where I was still shouting and dancing. Somehow, Emotions and her band disappeared down the street.
And then there was this one time my brother didn’t watch my plants while I was away, even though I had asked him to. When I came back home, all my plants had died. Oh boy did Emotion show up—she came out first subtlety, trying to hide in the other room. She snuck around the corner and popped into the room where my brother and I now were looking at my dead plants. Why didn’t you water them like I asked? I pressed upon my brother. Emotion came up right next to me, blue in the face as I asked and asked why he didn’t help. As my brother made excuse after excuse, Emotion boiled like a teapot and then whistled for all to hear—“how could you?!” she yelled, “these were my favorite plants,” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe you did this,” she cried. She went on and on as my brother stood there and scratched his head until I began to yell too, “I’m so mad,” I said, “this mattered so much to me,” I yelled. My brother was shocked, becoming aware for the first time of what he did and apologized. And somehow in the middle of the apology, Emotion had slinked back out of the room.
But I would say the most memorial time Emotion came up to me was when I realized that my friend was moving away. She told me at first and I thought it would be okay. Distance would’t keep us apart, I could always call, I thought. The day came that she was leaving and as I stood there saying goodbye, Emotion stood next to me crying. Crying and crying and crying. She cried until her face turned red and puffy. “I’m going to miss you,” she cried. And as she stood there crying next to me, I also started to cry, realizing how much I was going to miss my friend too. And boy was my friend shocked when I reached out to give her a hug, as I cried on her shoulder. And then she looked behind me and saw Emotion there too! She saw her crying too and then began to cry herself. And as we stood there hugging and crying, Emotion must have slipped away.
Yes, Emotion has been with me a long time. But recently, more frequently. And the more she travels with me, the more others begin to see her too. And as I’ve traveled with Emotion, I’m realizing how much I like her. Yes, she can be annoying and inconvenient at times, but she also made me feel more myself—more alive. And I’m starting to realize that I can’t live, fully live, without Emotion.