I find myself on a road.
I’ve been down this way here before but it’s somehow different this time. But I’m not sure exactly how. This time, the road seems narrower. Did I have a map? Or have I been lead by someone this whole time? I pause from my long journey and take a break. Looking back, I see how far I’ve come and looking ahead I see there is more to go. But at this point, the biggest question on my mind is where will this path go? Because up ahead I see a turn in the road but I can’t see beyond of where it may lead.
As I pause to reflect, my mind ventures into the possibilities. Does this road lead to wild adventure where the most fantastical adventures await? Will I be whisked away into my wildest dreams, into a land where nothing by my endless desires exist? Is it smooth sailing on here on out where every one of my wishes are fulfilled?
Or will this path lead no where? My greatest fear. A dead end of disaster and disappointment. A place of hopelessness where dreams die. What if I’ve traveled all this way only to be made a fool because this path doesn’t go anywhere. What if I simply become someone with nothing but an old tall tale of how it could have been.
As I look again at this turn up ahead, I am filled with anticipation. Like there’s something around the corner for me. Good or bad, I have not decided. But what I do know is it’s new from where I’ve been. And that fills me with excitement. But also somehow, I am filled with anxiety of not knowing what is on the other side. Of not being able to see what it may be. I know I can’t stay here – this was only ever meant to be a stop in my journey. But oh how I am tempted to stay, stay here where things are known and where it feels safe.
Anxiety bombards me, dread fills me. I don’t think I can keep going into this next part of my journey. Not if I can’t see where it’s going. Not if my biggest fears are what lay beyond. But what if it actually is my heart’s delight? If only I knew!
I look down deflated and realize I am not alone. Just then I realize what I had been wondering earlier – that I acutally have been guided this whole time! How quickly I had forgotten and become caught up in the questions and worry. There you are, beside me again. My leader. My shepherd. My faithful companion. I think back to my journey and I remember all the times I had easily forgotten where you were there with me, directing me on the way to go.
This time, you look at me and simply tell me it’s time to go. You reassure me that this is the way. So I must follow. Because you’ve taken me this far. And further still we will go.
I may not know what lies beyond but I realize I may not have to. Because all I must do is trust that where you lead is good. Because you are good. And I’m on this path for you, not me. You’ll never leave me and you’ll walk holding my hand. You are the one who knows what’s on the other side. So let’s take this step together, let’s take this leap. Because I know that while this path may be hard, it is also good. And good is where you will lead.